Your brown cow wandered into 7-11!

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I associate Slurpees with nice weather, happiness and temporary forehead nerve paralysis. What I *don’t* want to associate my Slurpee with are wayward virtual bovines.

The good people at 7-Eleven decided to capitalize on what they believe is a popular trend and completely whore out their Slurpee cups to FarmVille and its counterpart, YoVille. Getting 1,001 requests to play FarmVille, which I vented about in a previous post, can be annoying but I never thought I had to worry about it escaping the confines of Facebook.

Invitations to these games are useless because I’m a lost cause when it comes to virtual simulation games. I’m only focused for about 5 minutes before I relive my childhood memories of Sim City 2000 and start unleashing natural disasters and mutant spiders on unsuspecting residents.

You mean some new friends he can gore to death and a new home to destroy and leave massive dumps in? Go pawn your demon bull on someone else.

My friends and I refused to dispense Slurpees into these cups on principle but the cups were not the only products that were tainted:

Artificial flavors? I thought you guys lived on a damn farm.

If I were a Slurpee–which would seal my extinction because I would be too busy drinking my frosty innards–I would be insulted. Get this crap off of me, I would say. Well…I guess if I were a Slurpee I would die soon enough but at least I could die with some dignity.

By the way if I’m being asked to save a bull in FarmVille then what the hell goes wandering off in YoVille and needs immediate retrieval?

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