Tag Archives: march madness

Virginia commuter schools: Busting your brackets since 2006

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Pittsburgh: Out

Duke: Out

Ohio State: Out

and today Kansas, the last remaining number one seed, was sent  home packing thanks to Virginia Commonwealth University–who had to play against USC just to get IN the tournament.

Also does anyone else find it strange that many of number one seeds that are gone sport red, white and blue in their uniforms? Fitting considering that most of America is out $5 to $10 bucks.

Spam: Not just about the inheritance from your long lost Nigerian uncle anymore!

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I have three simple expectations of characteristics of my inbox spam:


Moderately inappropriate and

On a dogged quest to sell me Viagra from a Saskatchewan pharmacy.

But spam is evolving. Chances are if you run any type of site that allows for posting comments you can see that spammers now infiltrate in a different way: They’re starting to post in complete sentences and, even worse, giving constructive criticism and  misguided praise.

So I wondered how I would respond if these were real people commenting:

No worries here. Your English seems to be fine. I would be more than happy to give you more details as long as you tell me how this helped you in your college assignment. Are you doing a research project on Tyler Perry or the emotional rollercoaster that was the 2010 NCAA Division I Basketball Tournament? If it’s the latter I expect at least one section titled “How Villanova Nearly Effed Up Everyone’s Bracket On Day ONE – An Analysis.”

You just finished reading a whole post about how I was going to deliver a six-pack of beer to my friend and you’re trying to push tea on me. You didn’t read it at all. I’m offended.

I can still have the discount, right?

This post is mostly pictures….

Of course it compensated for your time – it was a huge picture of some woman’s boobs. I’m sure if your visitors like boobs they will also find it useful. And who doesn’t like boobs, really…

This is actually a clever turn of phrase but I’ve tried every which way to apply that to the post in question and I’m struggling. Does this mean that even if I did find someone on an online dating site who didn’t commit offenses like widely advertising their cuddling powers that there would be other issues down the line? This comment is deeper than I imagined. I am actually looking forward to your next observation…

WTF. OK back to my usual disappointment.

Insecurity Questions

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Sometimes I forget that I even have a Yahoo account and the only time I’m reminded is when the interoffice e-mail goes out for our annual March Madness bracket contest. Way before my and pretty much everyone’s bracket was laid to waste thanks to some K-initialed Division I teams that shall go nameless, I had some trouble logging in to my account. I briefly forgot my password but Yahoo said not to worry. Immediately some security questions popped up I could answer to recover my password.

I don’t know about the rest of you but security questions make me feel like I’ve accomplished nothing with my life. I realize they’re only trying to help me, but obviously I can’t answer this one:

Now you can do the sensible thing and skip it. Or you can feel compelled to answer it no matter what it is, sort of like how my mom’s answer to her Gmail security question “What’s your dog’s name” is “No pet” (I wish I was making that up).

My answer: I will probably die alone.

There is no way you’ll forget that one–mostly because a Yahoo administrator will probably send you a personal e-mail asking you if you’re okay and send you an Internet search of local psychiatrists you can talk to.

These questions just make me want to come up with snarky responses that would definitely make it harder for someone to hack into my account but even more difficult for me to remember how I answered them:

I’m almost positive Yahoo has my date of birth on file so can’t they just tailor the questions to things that a 20-something would remember?

How many times a week do you get Chipotle?

You meant “day” and not “week,” right?

What is the first picture you untagged on Facebook?

The one where my mouth was wide open and I looked like I was trying to remember something but farted at the same time.

What was your first tweet?

“I need Chipotle”

These are things that I could remember. Perhaps I need to lobby the Yahoo higher ups to get some security question diversity.