This is what it might look like:
Tag Archives: facebook
The below image is either the result of a hacker or a viral Facebook app. There’s something to be said about a site that’s known for launching a gazillion superficial friendships yet can still make users question where they stand with the real ones they have with people:
Where the creator failed in my opinion is in the quality of the options available for slimming down your friends list. The last two options will never get any clicks. No one will ever admit why he or she remains connected with someone that he or she clearly will never talk to again. Therefore here are my suggestions on making this a bit more realistic:
…I’m not even going to Google what this really is (found in Facebook Marketplace):
While I have no desire to join Cityville, Farmville or any of those virtual towns I get requests for, I do wonder how much better (or worse) my life would be if I REALLY lived there and was an active participant:
Psych. I didn’t really click on these ads. But lately they’ve become too bizarre not to comment on:
Be a social worker in a year…or piss your pants trying:
Wow. I don’t know who created this ad but could they have gone with a picture of a kid who didn’t look like an extra in 28 Days Later? Sure a social worker isn’t going to be dealing with kids that are sugar, spice and everything nice but I would have appreciated some false advertising here…
Okay. This is a little better
*Sigh* No. No it isn’t.
Maybe if we train one in America we can medal in the 100m dash
We are so screwed if the only real competition to Usain Bolt in our lifetime is a flightless bird and not a human being. Also in case you’re wondering, there are only 2,136 people who like the ostrich. He’s gotta be pissed.
Have you tried Jack Blackout?
Can we tack on “JUST HOOK IT TO MY VEINS” to the end of the second answer? Could you try to sound any more alcoholic? How about a third option?
()”Yz! I cn tasttte a WHOLL lot of honiy and a litl bat of Jack. Wht? Iz suppsed tbe the opposite? That’s the last tiiime I drunk Jackie’s Dum Kentucccky Nectar agin.
Can they please do this in EVERY language?
I had no idea what the hell this was and decided I would YouTube it. I was not disappointed:
I associate Slurpees with nice weather, happiness and temporary forehead nerve paralysis. What I *don’t* want to associate my Slurpee with are wayward virtual bovines.
My friends and I refused to dispense Slurpees into these cups on principle but the cups were not the only products that were tainted:
If I were a Slurpee–which would seal my extinction because I would be too busy drinking my frosty innards–I would be insulted. Get this crap off of me, I would say. Well…I guess if I were a Slurpee I would die soon enough but at least I could die with some dignity.
By the way if I’m being asked to save a bull in FarmVille then what the hell goes wandering off in YoVille and needs immediate retrieval?
There were some ads in particular that were disturbing for various reasons. Allow me to share with you.
I understand the joy one feels when he or she discovers a group of people share the same quirk, whether it is flipping a pillow to get to the cold side or getting a text message from the last person you wanted to get one from. However, it is when one constantly points these out that shared practices and feelings lose their value. And no party is more guilty of exploiting this than Facebook.
I can’t stand it anymore.
I had to come up with a list to cut this off at a head. That way if I actually DO see these groups I’m less likely to cringe when I sign into Facebook:
People who sob silently in the corner of their office supply closet during the lunch hour.
Category: Common Interest – Health & Wellness
Description: Your goldfish just died. Your goldfish died because your cat ate them. Your tabby cat died because he ate your goldfish. You forgot to do your slides for your team’s PowerPoint presentation. You look like a stammering ass so just go ahead and cry it out (and pray no one in your office runs out of staples between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m.).
I hate it when I stab someone and they don’t die right away!
Category: Common Interest – Families
Description: You told your sister she’d pay if she continued borrowing your flat iron without permission but she didn’t believe you. You are also manic depressive and you just happen to be trimming your split ends in the bathroom when you discover her latest transgression. Now she’s flailing and sputtering blood…the eyes are closi–wait. She’s still breathing. Damn it. Let’s try this again…
I don’t like it when the toilet gets to play God (People united against automatic flush toilets)
Category: Just For Fun – Too Much Information
Description: Look bitch I wasn’t done yet. My cheeks barely lifted off the seat. No I don’t want to press the butto–FINE. (Presses It). OH NOW YOU DON’T WANNA FLUSH ANYTHING YOU RAVENOUS PORCELAIN WHORE? I’m not even going to give you the benefit of a pre-flush wipe…
Asking people in your car what they want to listen to during a road trip but secretly wanting to force people to listen to Celine Dion’s “Falling Into You.”
Category: Music – Heaven Help Us
Description: Did anyone bring their iPod? No one? If not I’ve got a throwback CD I can play but feel free to say no!