My friend’s Google Chat status as of 6 p.m.: i need a beer. at work. someone make that happen.
Friend: so are you going to bring me a beer?
Me: the logistics involved in that from where i’m sitting right now are quite daunting
Friend: so is that a yes?
rise to the occasion
take the challence head on
and most importantly
give me a beer
Me: i can do it, but it may be half drunken on the metro ride there…
…by a hobo
Friend: why are you giving a hobo my beer?
Me: come on, it’s not like i’m gonna deny a hobob
i don’t wanna feel guilt tripped for the rest of the day
plus you’ll still be getting beer
i see it as a win-win situation, really
Friend: your logic is flawed in so many ways
instead of explaining those ways to you
Me: logic goes out the door past 6:30 p.m.
Friend: i will angrily shake my fist at you and shout MCGILLLLLL
you’re saying you would rather drink an entire six-pack at the office instead of sparing half of that for a hobo?
a hobo with clear blue eyes that i’m not going to be able to look away from, i should add
Friend: well (1) i pictured you carrying one glass of beer, giving have to the hobo, leaving me with half a glass to imbibe
(2) never trust a person with blue eyes
no you’re never gonna see the hobo. nor will i carry glassware on the metro
Friend: half a glass won’t cut it, but three might do the trick
I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER
Me: DONE AND DONE