Insecurity Questions

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Sometimes I forget that I even have a Yahoo account and the only time I’m reminded is when the interoffice e-mail goes out for our annual March Madness bracket contest. Way before my and pretty much everyone’s bracket was laid to waste thanks to some K-initialed Division I teams that shall go nameless, I had some trouble logging in to my account. I briefly forgot my password but Yahoo said not to worry. Immediately some security questions popped up I could answer to recover my password.

I don’t know about the rest of you but security questions make me feel like I’ve accomplished nothing with my life. I realize they’re only trying to help me, but obviously I can’t answer this one:

Now you can do the sensible thing and skip it. Or you can feel compelled to answer it no matter what it is, sort of like how my mom’s answer to her Gmail security question “What’s your dog’s name” is “No pet” (I wish I was making that up).

My answer: I will probably die alone.

There is no way you’ll forget that one–mostly because a Yahoo administrator will probably send you a personal e-mail asking you if you’re okay and send you an Internet search of local psychiatrists you can talk to.

These questions just make me want to come up with snarky responses that would definitely make it harder for someone to hack into my account but even more difficult for me to remember how I answered them:

I’m almost positive Yahoo has my date of birth on file so can’t they just tailor the questions to things that a 20-something would remember?

How many times a week do you get Chipotle?

You meant “day” and not “week,” right?

What is the first picture you untagged on Facebook?

The one where my mouth was wide open and I looked like I was trying to remember something but farted at the same time.

What was your first tweet?

“I need Chipotle”

These are things that I could remember. Perhaps I need to lobby the Yahoo higher ups to get some security question diversity.

3 Comments

  1. Ben says:

    Do I recall said untagged picture….rings a bell for oh so many! 😉

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