At least he was honest?

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I got a digital “wink” on an online dating site from some 33-year-old guy who gave nothing other than this message:

“How can i get to know you?”

The rest of his profile is pretty generic and leaves nothing to be desired. He says he’s good at “humor and cuddling” and that “air, food, humor, church, gym and women” are the six things he could never do without.

But I was left perplexed at what he listed in the section “The most private thing I’m willing to admit:”

“I need a women that’s not afraid to please me with her lips, at least once every other day.”


Aside from the fact that he meant “woman” (I hope) I thought, “This could mean so many different things” and if we’re friends, you already know that none of these things were appropriate.

Maybe this is an overreaction and he is talking about kissing, but I think it’s unrealistic to think people schedule “kissing” or “making out” like they take Lipitor to lower their cholesterol.

Unless he owns one of these ^

At least once every other day – this is a rather rigid requirement. The words “at” and “least” are key here because it means there’s an expectation that whatever you’re asking for may be a daily obligation. If that’s the case I have some questions:

Will this be happening at a set time?  If so I already blocked out 7 p.m. for “Jeopardy.” Trebek trumps all.

Can we reach an agreement that selecting “air” as one of the “six things you could never do without” is a given and acknowledge the awkward juxtaposition of the word “church” with the fact you need to be pleasured “at least once every other day“?

If whatever you’re asking for is happening “at least once every other day” will there be a written agreement for you to also shower and brush your teeth “at least once every other day”? NOTE: In this agreement it will be strongly suggested to heed the words “every” and “day

Okay it’s bed time. I should try writing these posts at a reasonable hour at least once every other day.

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