It’s time to do some cell phone inbox cleaning which means even more out of context messages for you:
Well he wasnt ugly but he wasnt attractive or interesting
Ok this is the most ridiculous thing Ive heard in a while: Some British company plans to sell bottles of “royal wedding day air” Seriously. No word on a price.
Do u remember “I’m from maryalnd an dnobody can beat me”? Just had a flashback n wanted to see if anyone would remember that, thought u might
Great we can celebrate earth day
Its more fun than picking up trash i promise
turn on the cw! it’s a quiz show on black history with black colleges
it has rap music and a token white guy on hampton’s team. but i appreciate it
Please help me eat the banana bread
There is a pissy DRUNK person loudly singing “I always fall for your type” over & over again outside the ER. My window is directly above the ER…:o(
I feel like we should do something immature and go to cancun and meet guys
someone just tried to sell me pocket-sized liquor bottles at gallery place. gotta love dc.
(received while at Capitol City Brewing Company Restaurant)
Save me some pretzels and horseradish mustard! LOVE that shit!
SEE LAST TEXT AND ACKNOWLEDGE, WOMAN.
SOFT PRETZELS ARE COMPLIMENTARY. ACT LIKE YOU’VE BEEN THERE BEFORE. EVEN IF YOU HAVEN’T, CAUSE IT’S A NICE PLACE
Duke cheats–I mean, wins.
I saw 2 rabbits & a squirrel playing today! It was hilarious! The squirrel kep trunnign up the tree & coming back down. LOL at times Im entertained easily.
(friend is going on a date)
some guy from okcupid. i actually think he’d be good for you! (similar sense of humor) name is jonathan in case he kills me
should we just move to mars? odds are there are less people there to annoy us
someone just knocked on my door wanting to raise awareness about sierra leone. i told him now wasnt a good time. what i meant was i’m too busy watching pretty little liars to save the world
SINGLER! GRADUATE ALREADY
Yeaaa. Ike Taylor. Thuggin worldwide.
Sounds like you could use some loaves and fishes right now
I’m going on a date. i forgot deodorant. this is my life
project nerd: nabbing engineering romeos dutifully
Within 30 seconds of exiting the subway just now, one guy carrying a bouquet of flowers said “nice butt” to me, immediately followed by a homeless guy who came up to say “fuck you and this fucking planet.” i guess i broke even?
Oh geez. Untag.
Omg just re-reading the johnson indictment, it seriously gets better with every read…
Ps enjoy fire alarm testing!
I’m not sure it has dingos, but it’s not likely
We’re taking the scenic tour of delaware thanks to a mistaken shopkeeper and feeling good abt not living here 🙂
One of my roommates (or their friends) left an unfamiliar dog in a cage in our living room. I’m showing REMARKABLE restraint not to let it out and drunkenly pet it.
Yeah, this dog is kind of big, so it would probably maul me. I got upstairs so I think the temptation has subsided
I never saw that sexy neighbor again. I need to get on that
He needs to show his chocolate self
I just killed like 3 bugs u should be proud
your brother came up as one of my matches on okcupid
I heard you guys but I was in jammies
Haha. Well at least we werent halucinating. Wow. Cant spell that word
Do you think the east coast is just fucked? Should we all be buying anti-locust spray right now?
I blame Leslie johnson
My eye is twitching. i thought of you
pauly shore is making coffee here
Yes i did just walk up 14 flights of stairs carrying a heavy bag to avoid sharing an elevator with annoying tan bald guy
No schweddy balls at giant
I just got asked to make a custom fit chicken suit. My life rocks
Of course i said yes
I’m saving that text, so if something happens to me involving a tidal wave, the cops will know to come after you and your demon magic
Hoome. With a pizza. That I have noone to share with.
At cvs u can buy a snuggie for dogs
Ok no parkway for these 2. Kims on the upper 60% dead
U and your having a life