Monthly Archives: December 2010

Note to HH – Take a clue from the RoomStore lady and make yourself scarce

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I know this sounds so, so bitter but can someone kill this thing? Now?

That new retailer hhgregg is filling the void some Circuit City chains left when the company went out of business in 2009. They decided “HH” would be their mascot. Best Buy doesn’t need a person in an over sized yellow tag suit prancing around its store so why did they think this misguided punctuation mark was going to bring in customers?

Oh and by the way, for the longest time I thought HH was an upside down exclamation point. Turns out he’s just a rolled up hhgregg ad with a floating smiley face head. This is like opening up a store marketing spankings and using an animated dancing tree switch to sell your wares.

Channel surfing doesn’t solve the problem. This legless, neckless freak is everywhere and as new locations open
up across the U.S. it’s only going to get worse. Clearly their marketing team hates Americans that much that they would
subject the unsuspecting public to his unnatural cheeriness one U.S. city at a time.

Look at him. He is practically *begging* you to punch him in the face.

I wasn’t sure how many people felt the same way about him until I saw the comments on the YouTube video above:

^Judging by the level of anger, this poster will probably put a bullet through his or her TV before a fist

Since you don’t have a neck I can wring–or any appendages of any kind–please take a cue from the Wal-Mart smiley face: Just roll back the prices and zip it.

Be nice…or I’ll beat the tweet out of you…

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Twitter decided to get smart with me on Tuesday–and I was not having it

After an exhausting night of reporting I arrived at my office ready to tweet the one thing that gave me joy that morning: a bumper sticker from a local elementary school whose tagline was “Where ALL our students are honored” (I didn’t know whether to praise the school for being inclusive or for buttering up the school’s dumber kids).

I typed out my thoughts but noticed the character number indicator in the bottom right hand corner wasn’t moving. I figured I would click the “Tweet” button so it would let me know if I was over the limit.

Normally when you go over the 140 character limit it gives you a pop up alert telling you. But this new Twitter interface they’re forcing upon me decided to take it one step further:

It really should not have bothered me, because it’s a computer and it’s pointless to be mad at a computer. Then I realized there are people behind these computers writing this smart aleck stuff. Then I was filled with rage.

Maybe if I agree to be more clever they’ll admit they need the cast of Whale Wars to save all these damn “fail whales” I see on my computer screen when I try to do something as simple as sign in to my account.

And while we’re on the subject of failing…remember this little gem you sent me a few weeks back?

This is just uncalled for. So you could help me but you choose not to? What the hell.

OK then Twitter, I’ll play your game:

Sad realization: I’ll probably tweet this post.

david the mothereffing gnome

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Friend: did you ever watch david the gnome as a kid

Me: yes i did

on nickelodeon?

Friend: ok i am watching clips righ tnow

and realizing how effing awesome/weird it is

Me: hahahaaa

Friend: did you know they all died???


(Friend then sends me the YouTube link below)

Me: wait a minute


they let that episode air?

Friend: david, his wife and the older one

turn into trees

they hug and say goodbye and then turn into trees

Me: dude that is like the saddest shit i’ve heard tonight

Friend: watch it please


Me:  i’m watching it now

(I watch the video. The red fox that David rode on frequently locates David and his wife after searching everywhere for them. You can see the joy in the fox’s face after finally finding David. Then David and his wife embrace, turn into cherry trees, fox starts crying, I’m almost crying and then fox howls into the air with sadness)

aww i feel so sad for that fox he used to ride

Friend: i know!!

Me: he didn’t even see it coming!

Friend: idk why but that disturbs me! i had no idea it ended that way

Me: yeah that is kind of disturbing