I joined this online dating site a few months ago so I wouldn’t be the only roommate in the apartment that never gave this a try. Sometimes people can randomly message you and I generally get creepers that make me (a) want to disable the chat function (b) sad that they can’t hold a regular conversation without immediately jumping to past sexual history and (c) tempted to watch a backlog of episodes of “To Catch a Predator” to help Chris Hansen actually ID some of these men.
The guy below added me to his “favorites” list, so when he sent me an IM–which I usually cringe in anxiety when I see–I figured I at least owed it to him to make some conversation. Then I quickly realized after he started typing that I owed it to myself to mess with his head:
Guy: how are you
Me: good! how about you?
Me: surviving the snomageddon?
Guy: yup lol
Guy: you are very sexy
Me: yeah me too just not looking forward to the next one coming
Me: oh um wow thanks
Guy: ya wish i was snowed in with u lol
Me: haha thanks
Me: so what did you to to pass the time during the storm?
Guy: hehe go on here
Guy: masturbate lol
Me: a lot actually, let me see if i can remember it all
Me: i woke up and looked outside
Me: heaved a heavy sigh at the amount of snow on my car
Me: cried loudly and deeply about how much i was going to have to clean off
Me: which kind of woke up my roommates
Me: then i sucked it up
Me: and vegged out
Me: but literally vegged out
Me: i ate an entire raw veggie platter from giant food
Guy: did u get laid?
Me: it’s kind of impossible to get laid after you eat an entire raw veggie platter under 36 minutes
Me: you can’t even get your roommate to look you in the eye after you leave the bathroom
Me: for the 13th time
Me: much less nail someone
Me: or be nailed