Monthly Archives: October 2009

Milo the A-hole – Part II

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In a previous post I copied and pasted an e-mail from my friend Shyv who wrote about how the family dog, Milo, typically drives her crazy but was somewhat well behaved in her parents’ absence while they were out of town. However, this is the aftermath that occurred when her parents returned from their trip:

from shyvonne
to Natalie, Becky
date Thu, Oct 1, 2009 at 11:59 AM
subject The Dastardly Deeds of Milo

Hello and welcome to another episode of Milo the Craphead

I thought that you would like to know about how my theory was going. If we don’t remember what the theory was, I’ll remind you. If we revisit the time when I was watching him sans parents in the house, we had barely any destruction to be seen. So I hypothesized that when the parents are home, thats when the demise of anything cotton related or tissue box related meets its downfall. AND OH HOW I WAS RIGHT!

Since our last update I just wanted to give you a break down of how many brave items we have lost this past 2 weeks:
Mom has now gone through 3 tissue boxes. We still aren’t sure what Milo’s agenda is against tissue boxes. I have been investigating this matter. So far.. squat.
Mom has now lost 2-4 wash cloths. Again, why are the big towels left alone and the wash cloths have to preyed upon? Another mystery for me to ponder.
Milo puked on the rug…. I have nothing to say about that.
And finally, Milo has successfully pillaged my room and got a pair of my underwear. A Victoria Secrets underwear. We. Are. Not. Pleased. Dad found it lying in the middle of the hallway with a fatal wound. The poor things were laid to rest in my mom’s trashcan. Why did that happen? Oh because mom forgot to close my door after the carpet cleaners came in and my closet was cracked. All he needs is a crack and the rest of my clothes are history.

Funny quotes by Dad: “Jean have you see my white underwear? Are they in the wash? (mumbles to self: “I swear I just bought a new pack”)
Mom: “….What? What underwear?” <-- knowing full well what's been happening... Dad's underwear is a favorite delicacy of Milo. The Underwear Nabbing Dog. Now the Jerk is looking at me, staring at his treat drawer, looking at me. I think he’s trying to ask me for a treat. You’ll get nothing over here you chewing trash compactor on 4 hellish legs. Oh he finally gave up. He just snuffed at me and ran upstairs as if he was saying “Useless”. Just another day in the War Against Milo. Thank you for tuning in. Catch you next time, same bat time, same bat channel.