Monthly Archives: July 2009

Next time I’m going to Cal Tor for lunch

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Here’s the equation. It’s kind of long but I tried to be as brief as possible:

A trip to a shopping center in my co-worker’s car to grab lunch to go

+ Some random guy walking behind me as I exited Shoppers and entered her car.

+ Him mumbling something to her about a magazine and saying “I want to sex you up.”

+ Us driving away while laughing hysterically.

Being reminded of the time when a middle-aged guy stopped me at the Shoppers salad bar last year and told me I was “just as fine as I wants to be.” Not want…WANTS. Sigh.

x Two co-workers on two different occasions finding pigeon feathers in their salads at the same bar

= Being thoroughly creeped out by Shoppers Food Warehouse

Wednesday’s encounter prompted her to post a gchat status asking why she was hit on using a lyric from a Color Me Badd song. This was my gchat status and the response I received:

i’ll pay someone in cookies to study the correlation between shoppers food warehouse and skeevy men

mars858: x-axis=probability that young attractive females will show up at a shoppers location, y-axis=number of skeevy men. it starts at 1 because no matter the probability, any shoppers location will have SOME skeeviness:

i’m procrastinating
and i love google images
this is awesome
you can have as many cookies as you want
mars858: haha yesss
me: warning: they might be from shoppers
mars858: uh oh… that’s a whole other graph right there
me: hahaahaa

Soon enough, babies will be able to tweet via the womb

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There is an article in the Baltimore Sun this week about the popularity of using Twitter…in the delivery room. The bulk of the article focused on one couple where a father awaits the birth of his second child and updates friends on his wife’s progress. One of his tweets even said “YAWN … having a baby is BORING right now … last time was drive-thru compared to this.”

I’m not saying I hate Twitter (after all, I do have an account) but this guy’s tweets did not seem to convey the seriousness of childbirth and I know if I were in a delivery room the last thing I want to see when I’m pushing a 9lb being out of me is that stupid blue bird. So below is what I think is a more accurate description of a delivery room scene.

Click to enlarge and read from the bottom up like you normally would with Twitter: